For a little while now I find myself dreading the weekends. You see, each weekend that passes always involves drama because the person I share my home with has become an alcoholic. Now he says he's not an alcoholic and that alcoholics drink every night but I think every weekend is too much as well especially when you drink a few and then you get carried away and don't know how to stop. Once you drink so many you start to do things you normally wouldn't do. And this particular person turns into a monster towards me. It never fails that we will end in a fight every Saturday night. I think to myself, just pack a bag, get the kids and just leave for the night. If only it were that easy to just leave. You see, if I leave now, even for the night, he will take it out on the animals and my possessions. I can do without my possessions but for an animal to be injured due to his anger towards me I cannot. And so I stick it out and deal with it. But because of him I dread even the thought of beer. I know that until I can come up with the money I cannot ever leave permanently. I'd love to just walk out and be done with it already, unfortunately there is a child support agreement that states he can have his weekends with our daughter. My children will all be hurt by the separation, but my youngest daughter, I cannot protect her if I am not there. No one seems to understand this until I explain to them the child support agreement that states his rights. I have to have $950 to have those rights removed in order to protect my daughter and so I stay here each weekend and pray to peace. And so I deal and wait for the weekend to end and things to be normal again....
But I have hope! And hope is all I need.
-Amanda Kay
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